For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. – Psalm 107:9 (NIV)
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
It all started when everything around me seemed to be spiraling out of control. It was not something that I planned in advance…it was very subtle. In the midst of all the chaos it was the one thing that I felt I could control. As a matter of fact, it took my attention off of the chaos. I first noticed the power and high that I felt when I exercised. From that experience, I created a strict regimen that I followed each and every day. It wasn’t long before I began to restrict food. It soon became my formula for control over my life.
Somewhere in the process, the tide started to turn. As I restricted food and increased the exercise regimen, I began to feel deprived. To combat my strict diet on the weekdays, I started to eat everything in sight on the weekends. I then felt the need to purge my system, partly from feeling utterly nauseous and partly from not wanting to gain weight. That cycle continued for quite some time. I became a prisoner to food and exercise. What I once had control over, took the reigns and gained control of me.
If we are to break free from an eating disorder then we have to surrender to God what is actually eating away at us. We must accept the fact that there are circumstances that might always remain out of our control. It is important that we trust that the God of this universe is in control over everything and will work it all out for the good in the end. Just as God is our heavenly mentor holding us accountable, it is important to also have an earthly mentor who will speak into our lives and ask us the tough question to help us stay on track.
Lord, I thank You that food and exercise are tools that You have blessed me with in order to keep me nourished and healthy so that I can carry out Your will for my life. Grant me the strength to refrain from abusing these tools.